Lisa was nervous about her husband’s visitor from America. She and Jurgen had several Gay friends in Cologne, but homosexuals from America were a different breed. They didn’t understand their place and were known to step beyond the boundaries which made Gay life in Germany more tolerable to the normal culture. In Cologne she and Jurgen had even gone to Gay clubs together where Jurgen had danced with other men. This had not been a threat to her, but she felt very threatened by this stranger from San Francisco. She was again entertaining the fears she had laid to rest five years ago when she and Jurgen had become man and wife. She had kept these fears suppressed, but today, on the day of Daniel’s arrival they were beginning to escape in tangible ways.

Daniel was to arrive at 2:30 p.m. on the train from Frankfurt. That morning Lisa questioned Jurgen carefully about what they would do until she arrived home at 6:30 p.m.

"Why don’t you wait for me at the cafe near the cathedral?" she suggested.

"For four hours?" Jurgen laughed.

Lisa became silent for fear she would give herself away. She kissed Jurgen then closed the door between them.

"I’ll call you," she could be heard screaming from the hallway on the floor below.

At 3:15 p.m. the telephone rang.

"What are the two of you up to?" questioned Lisa.

"Daniel is taking a bath and I’m preparing drinks," answered Jurgen in an innocent tone.

At 4:00 p.m. Lisa inserted her key into the lock very quietly and entered her apartment carrying her shoes in one hand. She found her husband seated in the chair directly facing the door. Between his legs, seated on the floor sat Daniel. Jurgen had his hands on Daniel’s shoulders. They were both laughing and had not noticed Lisa’s arrival. When Jurgen finally saw her face he unconsciously removed his hands from Daniel’s shoulders.

"What are you doing home so early?" Jurgen questioned.

"I wasn’t feeling well , so I decided to come home and rest."

Jurgen and Daniel were both standing now. Jurgen made the customary introductions, then informed his wife that he and Daniel would go for a drink so she could rest. He kissed his wife, put his hand on her forehead to check for fever, then walked to the door. He told her not to worry about dinner, they could decide later when she was feeling better. Lisa felt better already as she watched her husband and his friend exiled from the privacy of their apartment.

Jurgen took Daniel to a small bar on the corner of the same street. He and Lisa came there often with their Gay friends. Their Gay friends always made jokes about Jurgen’s beautiful ass. Jurgen danced with them, they sat holding each other, Jurgen even kissed them good-bye on the lips. Even Lisa would join in the laughter, for it was all just in fun. There was no threat and no confusion about sexual inclinations. Jurgen was married so this defined him as a heterosexual. All of the rules had been followed to the letter so that everything worked with no problems. Daniel, however, did not understand the rules. His very presence had already begun to destroy the perfect order.

As Jurgen sat at the bar contemplating his drink he suddenly flashed back to the moment when he felt compelled to remove his hands from Daniel’s shoulders.

"Do you think I’m Gay?" Jurgen suddenly questioned.

"Why do you ask me?" Daniel replied, puzzled by the abruptness.

"Because you live in San Francisco. You have more experience with such things!"

Of course Daniel did think Jurgen was Gay. He lived in Germany off and on for the last five years. He understood very well the process Jurgen was trying to engage him in. Daniel had become tired of the struggle, even angry about the lies and illusions he must be silent about witnessing. He was all too familiar with the culturally sanctioned monster who would eat him alive if he spoke the wrong words at the wrong moment.

"It’s not my place to tell people if they are Gay! Do you think you are Gay Jurgen?"

"No, of course not. I have a wife and I have made love to many women who all thought I did it very well! No, I am sure I am not Gay!"

"If you are so sure you are not Gay, then why do you feel the need to ask other people if you are?"

"Because Gay men always mistake me for one of them!"

"Why don’t you simply say thank you, but you are mistaken, then walk away?"

"Because I like the attention. They treat me like a woman has never treated me. I have never made love to a man but I love the attention Gay men give me."

The next morning Daniel was awake very early. He very quietly made his way to the kitchen. He was sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea when Lisa came to join him. They made small talk for the first half hour before she finally came to the question.

"Do you think my husband is Gay?" she asked as she leaned against the refrigerator.

Daniel was amused at the predictability of some situations in Germany. At this point he felt like he was in a bad movie that was being played as a rerun every night. He searched for a response that might jolt them both into a place where they could improvise instead of reading the script.

"Why do you ask me?" Daniel replied for the second time in less than twelve hours. "Do you think your husband is Gay?"

"To tell you the truth, I came home early from work yesterday because I thought he would be sexual with you. I have always thought my husband is attracted to other men. If I want to keep him I must not give him the opportunity to have this experience. Don’t interfere in our lives Daniel, or I can hurt you very badly!"

At this moment Jurgen came into the kitchen so the conversation was turned to something meaningless. Jurgen and Daniel remained in the kitchen while Lisa prepared for work. Jurgen had taken a holiday in order to be with his friend.

After Lisa left for work the two men went into the living room. They soon found themselves in a familiar position with Daniel seated on the floor in front of Jurgen. Jurgen was massaging Daniel’s shoulders as he had done with many friends both male and female. After his hands found their way to Daniel’s head Jurgen caught himself running his fingers through Daniel’s hair. He became more passionate with each stroke. Daniel leaned back resting his head upon Jurgen’s chest prompting Jurgen to bend down and kiss him on the forehead. Daniel was surprised at the sexual energy being exchanged. He closed his eyes and imagined Jurgen crossing the barrier to his freedom. With this thought Jurgen was suddenly standing in the middle of the room talking about all of the things they must do. They spent the rest of the day touring the city. They both agreed it had been a wonderful day and looked forward to the weekend camping trip together in the mountains.

Daniel was awakened the next morning by the sound of Lisa leaving for work. She slammed the door after yelling something to Jurgen in the kitchen. Daniel walked into the kitchen where he found Jurgen waiting for him. He walked over to Jurgen and placed his hands on his shoulders. Jurgen removed them with a force that startled Daniel.

"Lisa told me of your conversation yesterday morning," Jurgen said as he turned away. "I thought you were my friend Daniel!" Jurgen’s voice was angry now. "Why have you told Lisa I am a homosexual? You think relationships are only about sex, so you couldn’t see that what I wanted from you was not sexual."

Daniel made no attempt to explain or defend himself. The bad movie script was being played out perfectly to the end. He simply turned and walked to his room where he quickly packed his things into his bag.

"Why have you tried to break up my marriage?" Jurgen screamed from the hallway.

Daniel walked into the hallway outside the apartment without speaking a word. He understood the story line from all of the previous takes and retakes. This was the part of the movie where he becomes the villain homosexual who tries to steal the innocent woman’s man. Jurgen would remain drunk for the remainder of the movie so he would not have the chance to understand reason. He and Lisa would project all of their fears onto Daniel in order to protect themselves from the unacceptable truth. Daniel, like all of the other players, would remain silent with the hope that someday he would find the word or phrase that could jolt them all into a place where they could improvise instead of following the script.

On the train to his next destination Daniel met a beautiful man from Bavaria. Three hours into their conversation Daniel was confident that he had met a real out of the closet homosexual. He decided that he should be more up front in order to avoid the problems he seemed to encounter repeatedly. Daniel was disappointed but not surprised when the wife and two children met his travel companion at the station in Munich.